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Being Don Eykamp

Last month, when I was undertaking research for my thesis, I met Don Eykamp. Not in person, thank kereist, but through the mediation of the 1985 National Times. I feel obliged to introduce him to you.

A part Cherokee Indian who came out from the United States in 1963 on an assisted passage, Don Eykamp believes the immediate solution to the unrest in Moree is to cancel all social welfare cheques to Aborigines: "You can't get bored if you gotta do something like work."

"In the States it would reach a crisis. Here the attitude is 'she'll be right mate', 'let's back down and it'll all be over soon'. I don't know if that would be better or not, but that's the way it is."

Eykamp insists his major interest in his newspaper was to get men of "property and substance" back to running local councils "and not these baboons who couldn't run a chook yard". "I don't give a damn about niggers," he added. "They are a joke. It's kinda fun to shock. But my real interest is to start a movement to fix up these local councils."

Pride of place in Don Eykamp's home is given to a 50cm long petrified walrus penis. He shot the walrus while on one of his frequent bear-hunting trips to Alaska. His favorite party trick is to give a woman a drink with a petrified bear's penis as a swizzlestick. He only tells her what it is when she licks it.

Fourteen rifles decorate his living room walls, and he says he keeps his hunting rifles upstairs. He is, he says, ready for trouble.

Joseph | 1 Mar 2004

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